So you’ve thought long and hard about it and you’ve decided to call off the relationship. You’re looking forward to the face-to-face break up about as much as your next dental appointment. Sure, it would be a lot easier to fake your own death, pretend to move to another country or avoid calls and text messages, but it’s time to face the music.
Believe it or not there is a certain protocol to follow. For instance, don’t schedule the meeting at your place. It should be in a semi-public area to avoid an awkward exit and minimize a possible scene from ensuing. And whatever you do please don’t say any of these five cliché’s when you break up.
“It’s not you it’s me.”
It’s not you it’s me? Are you serious? Every person on the planet has heard this one by now. The minute these words come out of your mouth prepare for eye rolling and a few choice words to fly out of his or her mouth. There is no authenticity in this one. No one is going to believe that you have suddenly become so self-aware of your issues that you’ve chosen to bow out to protect their feelings. The truth is it is them. Otherwise you probably wouldn’t be breaking up in the first place.
“I just need a little space.”
Do you need fifty feet of space or separation by a whole continent? Saying you need space is so ambiguous that it leaves too much room to wonder if the relationship is truly over. Don’t sugarcoat the situation. If you really want this relationship to be over man up and tell’em it’s over.
“You deserve so much better”
Even if this is true it is another cop out. He/she chose to be with you and now you’re basically telling him/her they made a poor choice. Should you receive a thank you for this little nugget of hope that someday they will find a better mate in the future? In reality the underlying message you are conveying is that perhaps you feel you deserve someone better.
“We can still be friends”
Hopefully you two were good friends before hooking up, but realistically how many people remain friends with their ex? This could be viewed as a ploy to become friends with benefits.
Do you really want to be best buds swapping dating stories and going to platonic events without getting any action afterwards? If you’re totally over the relationship and don’t care to hang out anymore then cut off all ties immediately. Only extend your friendship if you truly do value it and think you can both handle it in a mature fashion.
“We’re just on different paths”
Do you want kids and he doesn’t? Are you a dog person and she loves cats? Do you share different political, cultural or religious views? It’s okay if you don’t think you two are the right fit, but have the decency to express your concerns openly and honestly.
What break up lines have you used or have been used on you? Please leave a comment.
There are bound to be a hundred more overused phrases out there but these five truly stand out. If this person meant anything to you in the time you were together you will honor what you two shared and be as authentic as possible. Will they want to hear it? Maybe not, but if you do it with compassion they will appreciate it much more.