Dating should be considered a scientific process, especially for Lesbians. Two emotional creatures attempting to forge a lasting bond can be an exhausting journey. Very few consider dating a constant process of elimination. If your ultimate goal is a loving, stable relationship, every woman you date is a theory that requires testing. If you’re enjoying the single life, consider this three-step method as useful practice. First, let’s clarify that just because you date someone doesn’t mean you should end up in a relationship with that person.
Step One: Observe
Unless you didn’t know, there is a point to dating and it isn’t just for getting out of the house on a Saturday night. The purpose is to learn the traits and faults of someone through various means. These days the initial contact could be online or by phone number but either way, this first step is the most important. As your conversations extend into the wee hours of the night, your topics should include more than favorite colors and pet peeves. Ask pointed questions about past relationships and/or situations. What are their views on communication, commitment and cheating? Inquire about their health and the last time they were tested. Women tune into their feelings and it’s hard not to lead with your heart at this stage. However, this is one step that your brain needs to be in control. Becoming intimate too quickly can cloud judgment and speed up a process neither one of you are ready for.
Step Two: Test
Is this woman worth getting to know better? It’s a simple question with many complications. After you have sent good morning text messages, cutesy emails and spent hours on the phone, this is the test phase. How do the two of you act in public? Be creative. Think outside of the box of dinner and a movie. How can you find common interests in a darkened theater or with a mouth full of food? What about a double massage or volunteering together for the day? This is when you find out if they chew with their mouth open or if they are a jealous maniac. While you’re still feeling each other out and if everything is going well, set a personal time limit on the intimacy.
Step Three: Organize the Results
Now you organize all the information you’ve gathered and check off your requirements. Did she pass all your tests? Could you grow with this person? Do your two halves become whole and all that other mushy stuff? Most importantly, does she feel the same way? If not, don’t settle just because you’re lonely. Start the process over with someone new. The woman of your dreams is waiting somewhere – going through the same process looking for you.