Stop here every day for a new question and answer, practical help for busy parents.
My son will turn 3 tomorrow. His dad is in prison for the next two years, but right before he left, he hired an attorney to seek joint custody. His lawyer is giving me managing conservatorship and pretty much what I want. But he is really opposing my move to another city, claiming it would be taking away the father’s rights. However, I just got offered a really great job, making more money and being around a great support system about three hours away. The hearing is in three weeks. If I move, can they make me move back? I can start my new job next week.
Yes, the judge can probably make you move back if he rules against you. And some judges might not look kindly on such a move before the ruling is made. Realize that mothers with children are frequently allowed to move away from the father. Judges have a lot of latitude in such cases, and I would advise you to take steps to stay on the judge’s good side.
That said, what you need isn’t my opinion, but that of your lawyer. The wording of your question suggests you don’t have an attorney of your own. If that is the case, fix the problem immediately. Come up with the money and hire your own advocate. Give up your cell phone or cancel cable or commit to buying no new clothes for a year. This is more important.
Your wording also suggests that you’ve told the people at the new job that you will start Wednesday. That’s unfortunate, in the event that your lawyer tells you to wait on the move. I have three suggestions for you.
1) Hire a lawyer. Yes, I know I said that already. But it’s worth repeating.
2) Call the prospective employers and level with them, if you haven’t already. Let them know that you’re interested, but that you have a family matter to sort out, and ask if you can delay your start date until the end of the month.
3) If you lose the job because of this, chalk it up to experience and don’t make the same mistake again. Sort out your legal affairs before you agree to move more than 150 miles away.
Should public schools be allowed to tell our kids they are doing bad? By doing bad, I mean not getting good grades or turning in pointless homework. Last time I looked around, it was my job to tell that to my kids. Isn’t this just another example of big government telling us hard workers what to do?
In a way, school is like an employer. My sons go to work every weekday, and they get the summer off. If my boss gives me a job and I don’t do it, he’ll let me know. If my son’s teachers give them homework and tests and they do a poor job, the grades they earn let the boys know.
The give-and-take is practical and logical, and has nothing to do with big government. Teachers have given out grades for generations, including during periods when the government was much smaller and less involved in our daily lives. That always has been and always will be part of their job.
Your comment about pointless homework suggests that you don’t approve of the way your children are being taught. In a free country, that is your prerogative. If it bothers you enough to make a change, you have the option of sending the kids to the private school of your choice or home-schooling them. Alternatively, you could run for school board and try to alter the curriculum.
If you’d like to submit an Ask The Dad question, send it to [email protected] If you’d like to read more questions and answers, visit www.askthedad.com.