Breaking the chain of infidelity relates to how you overcome the violation of trust and the bond you formed as a couple and how those bonds related to sexual, physical, or emotional rules. Whatever the rules you engaged in as a couple – they were important at the time.
Unfaithfulness clearly demonstrates that those rules were breached and boundaries were crossed. The values placed on your relationship have shifted; the infidelity altered the state of your relationship and destroyed the bonds of trust.
Infidelity harms all parties involved. There are virtually no survivors – betrayal of that trust doesn’t end with only those betrayed, it trickles down through the entire families of both parties.
For a marriage to survive and overcome the damage caused by the betrayal, knowing the different types of infidelity helps to understand what will have to be dealt with.
- Opportunity Infidelity occurs when partners are committed to each other, love each other, but one gives into or voices sexual desire for another person. This circumstance increases when s/he succumbs to the situation or risky behavior.
- Romantic Infidelity generally occurs when a partner loses all loving feelings or affection for the other partner.
- Commemorative Infidelity takes place when a partner is totally out of love with their spouse, but will not get out of the “in-appearance” only relationship.
- Imperative Infidelity happens when one partner avoids, denies, or refuses all sexual advances made by the other partner which eventually leads to feelings of rejection and insecurity. Often the rejected partner will turn to another person for approval and acceptance despite a strong, profound attraction for the refusing partner.
- Conflicting Romantic Infidelity is when one partner falls in love with someone else, becomes sexually and romantically involved, while having strong sexual desire and love for the significant other partner.
Moving forward after knowing what you have in store for you might require the help of an outside party – a therapist or marriage counselor. If you only suspect a betrayal, seeking the help of an outside party can help guide you toward addressing and resolving the presenting problem. It is time and money well spent.
To survive an infidelity, you have to attempt to understand what actually took place and what ultimately went wrong with the relationship. Proceeding from there could result in a more trusting, open, and honest union.
Taking the time to work through an infidelity with your partner might be the first step toward renewing your commitment to each other; without mutual commitments and exclusivity, there is nothing left to work with. Should that be the case, your best move is to move-on, alone!