I decided awhile ago that I was no longer interested in finding or having friends. I know I have no shortage of flaws and issues that I came here to work on; but I had found some harsh mirrors in the company I kept. Four years ago I realized my history of friendship was much like my history with boyfriends. Each one taught me boundaries: what I was willing to accept in the behavior of someone I would call friend (or boyfriend). It was four years ago I decided that the same care as goes into a romantic interest should be given to a friendship as well.
Then it hit me: I didn’t want friends. I wanted my Spirit Family! I wanted women who would feel like the sister I never had. To find a brother I STILL have: alive and breathing, capable of hugs. The aunts, mothers and grandmothers who could help me find the sureness of my path. It was two years later Mary and I realized how much we had in common: our love of Egyptian things and of crafty hobbies: especially sewing & knitting. Mary let me practice teaching Belly Dance to her when our schedules allowed, my first student! Best of all, Mary has witnessed all 3 Handfastings between Doug and me.
Then last Samhein I handed candy out for a friend from work while she took her kids trick-or-treating. Suddenly it seemed I had found a second sister, this one with 3 adorable children who I instantly loved. Sometimes it is hard for me to believe that was not even a year ago yet! We have both grown light years in this one physical year. It is amazing to experience the new fire of self-discovery; especially together! The best part is, even though this path of my own started over 20 years ago, it always feels as though I’m at a new beginning in this evolution of my spirit.
I can hardly believe it was this year: the beginning of May at Beltania, when I huddled in Doug’s arms and cried like a baby because I missed my brothers; the camping trips, watching for shooting stars and bats at night as I fell asleep talking with them. I had found sisters, but no male energy and I suddenly realized I really needed to own how much I missed having a true sense of family through my brothers.
In 6 short months I have manifested what feels like a growing Light Tribe of Spirit Family members, including men who feel like brothers and even a Son. There are various theories in regard to the sense that time is moving more rapidly than it used to. Even in the month of September I feel as though I have lived through much more than 30 days, not only in the physical events, but in the emotional/spiritual events.
I have also spent time reflecting on the 2 years since I began writing this column: hard to believe it’s only been two years while at the same time it seems like I was a completely different person and it was forever ago.
That’s the beauty of spiritual growth: every day, in each moment we truly have the power to be the person we wish ourselves to be. For most of us the only thing holding us from our true full potential is: ourselves. Which is why I am finding that having a spirit family, a Light Tribe of people who support me, invaluable: sometimes the mirror I hold up to myself says I’m ugly or stupid or worthless, but the mirrors provided by my Light Tribe reflect only Love and Acceptance.
Namaste my little Light Tribe: without you I am nothing.