Lasting, loving relationships are built on trust. Trust is the foundation for intimacy to grow. If your relationship is going to work, you need to be able to trust your partner with your past, your present and your future. Trust takes time and effort. It is also easily broken and hard to restore. But if you’re willing to work at it, the reward is a deep, satisfying relationship. Here are some helpful hints to help get you on that golden path.
• Reveal your true self
Being yourself is enough. In spite of all the bells and whistles we use to try and impress someone during the early stages of dating, intimacy is founded on knowing each other through and through – the good and the bad. You need to be able to show the real you – what you’re like when you’re tired, angry, frustrated, elated or have had a bad day. Knowing that you are loved for who you are lets you relax and let your guard down. It lets you be honest without fear of rejection, and frankly, it feels great.
• Honest communication
Friendship and trust opens the door to honest communication. You can’t communicate honestly if you’re always second-guessing how your partner will react and rephrasing your thoughts to fit an agenda. Communication takes concentration. Ask questions, listen, observe, let people know what you are thinking and that love can heal many hurts.
• Building trust
Even if they love each other, trust doesn’t just naturally happen between two people. It takes work and if you’ve been hurt in the past, it can be especially difficult. Building trust takes time, you need to show your partner that you are trustworthy and that you trust them in return. If your partner has trouble trusting, you can do a lot to create an environment where trust can grow. Listen to your partner, respect opinions, and accept each other as is. Reveal parts of your history, show him that you trust him and you will help him to do the same. If you are vulnerable it helps your partner to feel that he is safe to be vulnerable as well.
Don’t rush it. If you truly love each other and want what’s best, you’ll both wait. If you’re in a relationship with someone you feel you can’t trust, don’t ignore it. If you have trouble trusting anyone, you might want to seek counseling before you run away from what could be a great relationship. Your past does affect your ability to trust. However, if trust hasn’t been a problem for you in the past and your gut is telling you to protect yourself from this guy, take it as a warning. Take a close look at who he is, how he treats others and how he treats you. Your gut may be giving you all the information you need.
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