The effect of creamy salad dressings evokes internal combustion. Physicians exclaim that the effects dairy products coat upon the stomach lining and promote a healthy appetite and increase the profitable digestion of essential vitamins and minerals: but, it is the very digestion of dairy products which promote intestinal gas.
There are 159 brands of creamy salad dressings available for retail consumption. The health department of the State of California has placed creamy salad dressings as one of the highest caloric counts upon the diet, meaning that the juxtaposition between weight increase, heart failure and random flatulence is actuated by the accustomed employment of creamy salad dressings in the dietary compound in the balance of a nutritional diet.
This is not to perpetuate the unaccustomed use of creamy salad dressings but more to address the trials of malicious gas: the bulky cost of chunky Bleu Cheese in the quiet seconds of a loving evening, in the small spaces of budding romance, in the tether of a stripped anticipation when the creamy Peppercorn, Thousand Island, or Franco brie creep in, availing themselves with a punctuated statement into the reticent festivities of a lost incensed evening of candlelight and romaine lettuce tumultuous that an oil and vinegar substitute may be in order to avoid the unnecessary, involuntarily passing during a kiss given the insecurity of a romantic interlude. And then there is creamy salad dressing.
Vinegar and Extra Virgin oil will do for most pasta and chicken presentations. Needing a creamy salad dressing requires anal discipline. A host cannot be afforded the exploratory emissions of fast and wanting friends, of the digitations of greed, of the wanton necessity promoting the solace of a last night’s lofting memory with the threshold promise of no gas passing at the dining table.
Creamy salad dressings commands over 40 percent of the salad dressing market. The vinegar and oils, the balsamic dressings and the poppy seed compliments are luscious in certain recipes but the creamy salad dressings are by far the highest selling of supermarket condiments addressing the lettuce, cucumber, onion and tomato produce department of the contemporarily salad bowl. Lovers waking into their eyes of a gaseous aroma will recall my creamy salad dressing heed: harvest not the larkish moments of rich tossed salad delight but remain prudent activities of further delights without the propulsion of creamy salad emulating from the aura of senseless wit.