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Get the hint
Dinner proved to be a smorgasbord of awkwardness as Garrett—face reddened with the aftermath of a battle with carpet—chased his entrée with several cocktails up until the restaurant’s closing hours.
“The restaurant was closed. Everyone that was in the restaurant that worked there was sitting at the bar starring at us because we weren’t leaving,” Amanda relayed with an eye roll. “I dropped about eight hundred hints for us to get out of there, saying ‘hey, maybe we should leave. Hey, maybe we should go.’”
Seeking to further slake his appetite for booze, Garrett suggested they go to one of his favorite watering holes a few blocks away. It was there that his buzz took a nosedive into the completely sloshed zone.
Alcohol lowers inhibitions and can cause erratic behavior which is why—along with other reasons—overindulgence should be avoided on a first date, where one wants to put forth their best impression.
“At the bar, he got completely trashed,” groaned Amanda.“He said, ‘I’m out of cigarettes so let’s go to another bar where I can buy some…We walked four blocks down to another bar and it was closed. Then, we walked another two blocks away to another bar and that one was closed!”
Having recently quit smoking, Amanda had an “emergency pack” of cigarettes in her car and offered them to Garrett to assuage his craving. After getting his carcinogenic fix, Garrett suggested he and Amanda continue their impromptu walkathon by retreating several blocks back to the first bar.
Over-the-pea-coat boob grab
At the request of more walking, Amanda decided that her calf muscles had acquiesced to enough torture for the evening.
“By this point, it was two in the morning and I had to be up for work at seven. I was like, ‘I just want to go home.’ We went back to my car and he asked ‘Can you drive me back to my house?’ because it was cold and he was dressed for—oh, I don’t know—summer? I drove him back to his house, parked and he said, ‘So…uh…do you want to make out for a minute?’”
Garrett proceeded to reach over and recline Amanda’s seat while she was still holding onto the steering wheel while simultaneously reaching for her left breast in a floundering attempt at second base.
“He went for the over-the-pea-coat boob grab and I was just thinking, ‘this is the most awkward thing I have ever seen in my entire life! I am just too sober for this to be romantic.’” Amanda noted that she may have been terrified at the situation but she was pretty sure she could “take him” being that he had rug burn on his face and weighed less than she did.
Amanda is five foot four inches and 100 pounds.
To top things off, Garrett was—as Amanda described him—very “tight-lipped” and kissed her with the likeness of a swallow pecking down some birdseed.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, concludes the story of how one man blew his chances forever with a sassy Baltimore single.
Find the perfect date spot in Baltimore!
An article from CBS Baltimore offers up great ideas for the perfect first date. Made Manual also offers a list of the 10 Best First Date Restaurants in Baltimore. Want to peruse other activities in the area? Visit Baltimore.org for information on everything the Maryland city has to offer.