Do you have an online dating account while in a relationship? Did you make the account before your relationship? Does your significant other know? Do you close it when you get a significant other?
These are daunting questions that should be discussed during your relationship. Here is some advice to help things go a little smoother.
First of all, are you dating each other exclusively yet? If not, then there is nothing wrong with keeping the profile online because there was no communication of exclusivity. Don’t assume. I repeat, don’t assume (don’t you know what happens when you assume?) Sometimes women tend to assume that just because there have been a few great dates, they’re in a relationship while men don’t consider themselves in relationships until they’ve communicated it. There is nothing wrong with asking if you are a couple yet before deleting the profile and keeping your options open for someone who wants to be part of a couple with you.
If you made the profile before you met your partner or perhaps that is how you met your partner, then they should know it exists either way. Imagine stumbling onto someone’s active online profile six months down the road. Or worse yet, they have created a secret account with an anonymous e-mail. If that is the case, the online profile is the least of your worries.
So what if you have the talk, you are committed exclusively and falling in love? Is it time to change your status and/or get your trigger finger ready and delete your account(s)?
Some people keep the account, getting messages and updates from it. Some respond because they just want to make new friends. I have a hard time swallowing this pill as most dating websites have the word “date” or “dating” in the logo. Dating sites are meant for dating. Duh. If you want to make friends, Facebook is a great resource for networking AND you can mark your relationship status any way you like.
I don’t know that it could be called cheating, but it’s definitely sketchy behavior that can cause a LOT of problems. In my opinion, it’s wrong to communicate with people on the basis of “trying to date” if you are in a relationship, no matter what the circumstances. If you’re in a relationship, you’re in a relationship. You shouldn’t be testing the waters, looking for another person to date, or claiming to “make friends” through a dating website unless you are in a mutually agreed upon polyamorous relationship.
If you can’t commit to the person you are with, you should end it. The end.
Follow me on my Philadelphia Twitter at www.twitter.com/girlspy.