People from Florida to Alaska are constantly trying to find solutions to the age old question. How do you improve your relationship or marriage when you feel that it is headed in the wrong direction? When you are single you often think that everything will be better once you get into a committed relationship…and that’s true in the beginning. But after a while couples start finding it hard to have fun together, to connect with each other and to show how much you care about each other. Couples begin to forget that it’s the little things that matter and let the big business of everyday life take over. So here are some ways to spice your relationship up without adding too much extra time to your already busy day.
Vent to each other! Have a quick venting session. Pretending that everything is alright 100% of the time can destroy a relationship, so take a couple of minutes to complain about your boss, your teacher, and your mom, whatever. This will bring you both closer and help you connect on the realization that you both have rough elements in your life.
Share a bottle of wine. This can take less than 5 minute to have with dinner and will strengthen your bond immediately. This will cause you to relax together, and a study done in 2010 by the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin reported that couples who drink together feel a closer bond and have fewer relationship troubles than couples who drink individually or do not drink at all. This could be a good nightly routine or bi-weekly routine to wind dine and relax and enjoy each other. If you live in Miami or Fort Lauderdale you could even just hop over to the beach and unwind with each other.
If you are feeling in a snappy mood, like no matter WHAT anyone says you will take it badly and you’re just raring for a fight…leave. Take time out and get a breather so that you can go home and not start a fight. Or if you HAVE to go home have some sort of way you can let your partner know when you are having a day like this and so he knows to just leave you alone and let you cool down.
One suggested exercise is an intimacy exercise suggested by The Marriage First Aid Kit. This involves free association with the sentence “I wonder…” Both you and your partner should right thoughts down and take turns reading them. Remember no judging is allowed in this exercise no matter how silly it may feel! You could even make this an easier exercise by practicing it verbally when you are cooking dinner, or grocery shopping, or spending at day at the beach in Miami!
Appreciate your partner for everything they do. It is so easy to forget to say thank you when our partner opens the door, or does the laundry, or cooks dinner, or feeds the pets, etc….a little appreciation goes a long way. In addition to this, complain a little less regarding things you wish they would do or things that they used to do that they don’t do. Worst of all do NOT complain about something they try to do but do not do to your level of satisfaction. They are trying to help and that is what counts!
One of the most important improvements is as simple as learning how to communicate. Likelihood is that you both communicate in very different ways. For example, when a problem or issue comes up some people like to take some time to themselves to think things through before they discuss it with their partner. Other people would rather just jump right into the discussion without taking any time to think about the situation by themselves. Despite being complete opposites this couple CAN make communication work. One person needs to explain that they need time to think things through and then in a REASONABLE time frame bring the discussion to their partner. Some people may even need a deadline for when their partner will bring things up to them so that they don’t have to worry that it will sit in the air forever. By using some of these easy and quick methods your relationship can be just as strong as it ever was! The main thing is to find what works best for you and your significant other and enjoy just being together like you used to in the beginning.
