He sat there as she said the words ‘This isn’t working out for me, It’s over’. He wanted to ask her why but his pride hurt just as much as his heart did. After she left his world was turned up side down. He didn’t know how to feel or how to get rid of the pain in his chest. He couldn’t catch his breath and the next few days after that all he could do was replay the relationship in his head to see where things went wrong. He couldn’t come up with an answer and the pain wasn’t going away.
The ending of a relationship can be very painful even if it was an unhealthy situation because the break up represents lost of shared dreams, beliefs, and commitments. When a relationship end the experience of feeling disappointment, grief, and stress is normal. Allow yourself to have these feelings is extremely healthy.
Don’t go through it alone. Spend time with friends and family, talk with them about how you are feeling. Get out of the house and get involved in activities with others. Allow yourself to focus on strengthening your relationships with friends and family. This will allow you to get to the next stage in the healing process. Your daily routine may become disrupted; however you must set new routines. Use this time to focus on your personal goals and dreams. Re-identify who you are and ask yourself some major questions. What do you want to do? Where do you want to be in five years? Then start to work on those things.
Allow yourself to go through the grieving process. The distress of grief is exactly what helps you let go of the old relationship and move on. You must remember that grief is a process and it won’t last forever. Don’t fear that you emotions will be too much for you to bear because you won’t be stuck in this place forever. Give others in your life a chance and do something considerate for someone else in your life such as a best friend or a sibling. Start new traditions with your friends like ‘Friday Movie Night’. Remind yourself that in a year you will look back on this experience and see that it was a change for the better.
Start a ‘Break-Up Journal’ every time you start to feel bad write your feelings down and express why you feel that way. You will notice that every time you write you will begin to write less and less about the failed relationship. Don’t hold your emotions inside because you need to see the gradual changes that are to come.
This is a normal part of life and always remember you are not alone. Make sure you focus on your wants and needs. Take time for yourself. This is making you a better person for the relationship that will be right for you.