It is the morning after. Ow, my head. In service to my loyal readers – yes, I mean both of you – my completion of a test of uncommon mental duress by watching 90 minutes of GOP debate on Wednesday night was a sumptuous feast at the “buffet of crazy and inane comments,” borrowing gratefully from the remarks of Jon Huntsman’s chief of staff John Weaver (pictured left). My agony is the price.
To make matters worse, selecting just 5 from the array of nuttery is an effort worthy of a medal. May you appreciate this challenge. Onward….
5. Without a wall at the Mexican border, we will yield our national sovereignty to narco-terrorists – Michele Bachmann
This was a tough one because the current Tea Queen intenselyangst-ifies before the camera at every occasion, like when claiming that health care reform’s pending implementation was keeping employers from hiring minority youth, and hence responsible for unemployment and the economy’s near-recession state.
My preference was for the anguished spector of narco-terrorists surging across the naked border. All of the sampled candidates wanted more fence or total fence (Romney), and more Border Patrol agents, National Guard, 1,000 now … and Predator drones (Perry), and machine guns (Paul) too, although Papa Paul said we were being fenced in andthat was wrong. See, doesn’t your head hurt? Mama mia!
She jumped then to Miami and visiting with Cubans who apparently had no problem cutting Mexicans off from anything and everything. I know, I was shocked, too.
Anyway, it’s all here – 10 minutes.
4. Texans don’t want Massachusetts-style health care reform/Federal government responsible for Texas having the highest number of uninsured – Rick Perry
This is cheating abit, but Perry managed to couple two whoppers into this response. He started by making it sound like Texans didn’t even want health insurance, and certainly not from some government plan. Of course, the consequence of his remark was that Texans would indeed rather have no insurance than government-mandated insurance.
When pressed in a follow-up to explain why Texas had the greatest number of uninsured citizens, Perry blamed the feds. Somehow, if the feds granted waivers on Medicaid and let Texas do whatever it wanted with the money, Texas wouldn’t have so many uninsured. In one of those miracles of Republican faux-logic, the feds – who pay half the cost of Medicaid – should get out of the way and let Texans work their private marketplace magic. HMOs would be thrilled to have a Texas-sized profit bonanza.
Also be sure to watch from 10:00 in the video – click here, it loads reasonably fast – so you watch the latest Romney dance around the question of an insurance mandate. This has become the most delicious part of the GOP debates; the Romney squirm when asked the question. He can make it as smooth as silk and not one Tea-stained kook will buy it.
3. Social Security is a Ponzi scheme, a monstrous lie for young people – Rick Perry
Yes, you’ve heard this before, and TX Gov. Perry insisted on this language even though former MA Gov. Mitt Romney decried the claim along with Karl Rove and Dick Cheney apparently. Perry’s insistence on such terms gives all GOP candidates some hope.
Perry has tried to nuance his comments, but not with much success. The thin shred of truth; left untouched, the Social Security Trust Fund will ultimately run out of money and be unable to pay its beneficiaries. In fact, this shortage could have happened in the past. Shocking, I know. Who would have thunk it? As if by divine intervention, sane people made adjustments to the Social Security contribution levels and enabled it to continue as the most successful government program ever. In Rick Perry’s flat world, change doesn’t happen in the federal government.
2. Democrats will support eliminating the corporate income tax – Rick Santorum
Given Santorum’s track record of batty jabber, and having produced several gems just in this debate, and given the rich environment overall, this one seemed to cause bruising on my forehead from repeated wall banging.
Eliminating the corporate income tax was a doozy for starters. Imagining that ending the corporate income tax would cause businesses to bring jobs back to the USA was a stretch, assuming you didn’t ask what kind of jobs or at what wage.
Then he said this would build middle America and presumably middle (class?) Americans. If businesses could pay Bangladeshi wages and have Nigerian environmental regulations and government oversight like Somalia (they have a government?), they might make the move.
Contorting logic into a pretzel on steroids was bad enough, but he wasn’t done. Oh, no. The suggestion that industrial state Democratic congressmen would readily agree to such an arrangement exceeded all bounds of credulity. He simply couldn’t leave wacko alone and he had to go for bat-shit crazy. Congrats, Rick Santorum – you made the list. We knew you would.
1. Ending the minimum wage will help poor people who need a job – Ron Paul
The nation’s minimum wage is an obscenity, not because it exists as Paul would assert, but because it is so paltry. Some progressive folks talk about “a living wage” which would have to be more than twice the current minimum wage of $7.25/hr.
Ron Paul’s proposal is to eliminate the minimum wage. Just get rid of it. It stands in the way of his libertarian ideology that has deified idiocy. To get rated this highly, the comment would have to go further than ending the minimum wage; Herman Cain wouldn’t be the only one on stage willing to go along with that.
That it would help poor people gave the ridiculous proposal that extra push over the boundary into the avenues of the bizarrio, a familiar neighborhood for Papa Paul.
In his libertarian narcosis, poor people will be delighted to have a job paying $5/hr or $3/hr. Having that kind of job sure beats hunger and homelessness, right?
Well, even though you still can’t afford housing or food or health care or transportation or a pot in which to pee, and probably don’t qualify for TANF because you earn too much, you have self-respect. And you can take that to the bank. Never mind; the bank has no use for self-respect.
[Note: A very close Ron Paul comment was that the terrorist attacks on 9-11 succeeded due to federal government regulations that prevented people from resisting. And yet another was that we ought to privatize everything because lobbyists write the laws anyway. Like I said, it was very close and a very rich selection. Go ahead, call me crazy.]
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It is doubtful that this effort at watching GOP debates can be replicated much more. The recovery from 90 minutes of this mental abuse takes longer each time. Sorry, but you may have to watch it yourself. Drink heavily beforehand, my friend.