Focusing INSIDE of yourself is where the magic begins.
By loving yourself enough and taking the action of putting aside a few minutes a day to heal your soul and, especially, to quiet your mind, you will be making the biggest investment there is to make and that you will ever make in your life.
This is because, from the moment you commit to setting time aside everyday for YOUR ‘focusing inside,’ you will start a snow ball of well being that cannot be stopped.
Your life will change dramatically–for the better.
Your ability to deal with difficult parenting days, difficult life decisions, and other life challenges will increase big time.
And your ability to be in the present moment and enjoy life to the fullest will also increase significantly.
Not to mention, your children and significant other will thank you in many ways, for their quality of life will change .
When you focus INSIDE and ‘sit’ with what is in there, be it anger, tiredness, insecurity, no trust…….really whatever you find that is causing you pain, you will notice they will start to melt away from your soul, leaving your mind very light.
You will feel more grounded, as if you are much more alive and are really here and not just going through the motions with your mind always on thoughts.
To melt away and resolve past hurts, unresolved issues from childhood, or stresses that you have kept locked inside of your heart, you have to practice focusing inside.
This is a must, because these are the very things that will make you feel like something is missing, and make you have a really hard time parenting your children, and make it nearly impossible to have a happy and fulfilled relationship with your significant other.
In this very busy world that we live in, it is not easy to stop and focus inside. In fact, it is a big challenge.
The truth is: the bigger a challenge this is for you, the more you need it.
Here are several ways to focus INSIDE throughout the day. Some of these are things you can do while going about your day, and for others, you need to set some time aside to do it.
PICK ONE TO START WITH. Then incorporate the others with time.
One thing is for sure: the more things you do on this list, the lighter your mind and soul will become, and the happier you and your family will be. You will complain less, you will care less about ‘keeping up with the neighbors,’ you will care less about what others think of you, and the most important of all: you will start to HEAR YOUR OWN MUSIC.
You will be well on your way to becoming a TRULY HAPPY PARENT.
Following your breath
Wake up 30 min earlier than you usually do everyday, sit in a comfortable place in your home, close your eyes and focus on the breath going in and out of your nose. THAT’S IT. When your mind wanders, AND IT WILL, just go back to the breath WITHOUT judgement. Do this for 15 min to start, then increase it to 30 min in the morning and another 30 min before bed.
This sounds very simple and easy, but once you start, you will find it nearly impossible to keep the attention on the breath–your mind will keep coming back at you with all sorts of thoughts. THIS IS NORMAL. Do not quit.
The harder this is for you, the more you need it.
Even if your thoughts keep coming back every second, if you always notice that and go back to the breath without judgement, you will get the full benefits of this.
It’s not about how long or how perfectly you can do it. It is about DOING IT.
You will reap the benefits throughout the day.
Checking in with yourself
This one I learned with Eckhart Tolle who wrote one of the books that has helped change my life: “The Power of Now.”
Throughout the entire day, and pretty often (once every hour), check in with yourself: “how am I feeling at this moment?” “do I feel annoyed because I don’t have enough time for myself?” “do I feel like a bad mother because the house is a mess, the laundry is not done, and the kids are jumping off the walls?” or maybe “I feel awesome. happy.”
DO NOT JUDGE YOURSELF. Just be quiet for a few seconds and observe that uncomfortable feeling.
This observing is literally magic. It will help you to be conscious of the feelings that bother you and also of the ones that make you happy. With time, you will find yourself happier and happier and happier because you will be living in this moment and the hurts will be literally dissolved.
Start a yoga practice: one of the best investments in your spiritual and physical health you will ever make.
If you have read the word YOGA and already turned up your nose to it. Don’t.
Open your mind.
If there is one form of exercise you should do above all others, it should be YOGA.
It will integrate your entire mind and body in a way that will not only help you look amazing and get your pre-baby body back, but you will finally be able to make peace with literally every area of your life.
There are several types of YOGA you can practice. My favorite is Bikram Yoga. The best way to pick one that is best for you, is to try out as many kinds as you can or just pick one and go with it for awhile.
Every single time you are doing YOGA, you are investing BIG TIME in your physical and spiritual health. You will FEEL IT after you start practicing it and you will never want to stop.
Keep this in mind:
- YOGA is not meant for the flexible. You become flexible by doing YOGA
- YOGA is not meant for the spiritual. You become spiritual by doing YOGA
- YOGA is not meant for the peaceful. You find peace by doing YOGA
- YOGA is not meant for the fit and thin. You become fit and thin by doing YOGA
Yoga is for everyone and it will change your life
As Bikram the creator of Bikram Yoga said:
“It is never too late, you are never too sick and you are never too old to start from scratch once again. And if you want to feel younger, look younger and find peace, then there is no other way to go than through the heat,”
You deserve to have this time for yourself. Go ahead and make a conscious effort to fill your cup everyday.
You are doing it for you. But you are also doing it for the well-being of your family.