Whether or not your child was planned, if you are currently pregnant, or have a child, you have made the decision to reproduce. If you are planning to keep the child and raise it, this indicates (vaguely) that you are generally ok with the existence of children. It also indicates (hopefully) that you will generally enjoy the existence of (at least) your own child.
Be aware, though, that not everyone thinks as favorably about children as you. Someone, somewhere, is not as over-the-moon about Little Junior as you are. And that person doesn’t want to hear the more descriptive tales of pregnancy, and they won’t want to babysit, and they will definitely not want to hear you talk about how they should have a baby so Little Junior can have a playmate and they can grow up and get married to each other and you’ll be like the sisters you always knew you could be.
And this person is totally normal.
Not all of your friends like kids. Not everyone is going to like your kid. It doesn’t make them cruel or strange. But it does mean that if you want to keep your relationship with anti-kid friends, you have to be a bit sensitive to the situation. Here’s how to maintain those friendships in six easy steps:
Step 1: Some people are not interested in reproducing. Don’t assume they are.
Step 2: Be sensitive to the fact that many people have fertility issues that you do not know about because it’s none of your business. All your baby talk could secretly be breaking their heart.
Step 3: Don’t assume that your kid will be the one kid that your friend likes, in a world of kids that your friend does not.
Step 4: Have something other than your reproductive stories to talk about when you spend time with these people. Pop culture, news, sports, weather, or even how they are doing are all acceptable topics.
Step 5: Spread your time out between your non-kid pals, and other pals who will match you story for story about embarrassing labor moments or which objects the sweet Little Juniors got stuck up their nose.
Step 6: Appreciate your non-kid pals for what they bring to the table. Sooner or later, you will get burnt out on the baby-talk, and you will yearn for grown-up conversation. Or a late night out. Or a trip to Vegas. If you put these pals on the back-burner, you will be left high and dry when you are ready to dip your toe back into the pool of adulthood.
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The author can be contacted at evie.mortensen@gmail.com
Please check out her other articles or subscribe on her main page:
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