When you are ready to invite a date over for dinner, cleaning the homestead and accessing the items they will likely see, is priority number one. Here are a few items they should never see on their first visit to your home or subsequent visits, for that matter.
Get rid of your ratty toothbrush with the frayed bristles. It is not a trophy, it’s a toothbrush and it should be replaced with some regularity. You can splurge on a new $2 toothbrush. And by all means, clean the bathroom sink. Nothing says disgusting more than old toothpaste or shaving cream lining the basin.
While we are on that subject, put away or hide shaving equipment. Smooth, hairless skin is great but a razor mottled with soapy hair is totally gnarly. Yes, gnarly is a real word. Sounds like narly (g is silent) and rhymes with Bob Marley. It was used by Sean Penn in the movie ‘Fast Times at Ridgemont High’.
Empty the trash before a guest arrives. No one studies the trash at another’s house (we hope) but when the only things in the trash basket are several used Q-tips, they are bound to be noticed. We all appreciate hygiene but no one wants to witness the remnants of ear cleaning!
Hide in the vanity any creams for personal care such as jock itch or yeast ointment. If you are preparing a dinner entree with mushrooms, the appetizer should not be your dinner partner finding your partially used bottle of Lamisil anti-fungal on the powder room counter. Any of these products will instantly kill the appetite and the mood of the night.
Censor your library or stash of reading material. If you have stocked up on self-help books lately, you don’t really want a potential to see your weakness. Put away your specialty magazines as well. If it comes in a brown wrapper and it is too risqué for the mailman to see, chances are good it isn’t fit for your company either!
Nothing screams bachelor or bachelorette more than an empty cupboard. If your refrigerator only contains water, condiments and a rotted tomato, you need to go shopping. Provide your guest plenty of food and beverage choices.
Survey the photos on the fridge and remove the ones with all your previous boyfriends or girlfriends. Remove the post-it reminders that say, for example: “Call the podiatrist” “Bleach underwear” and “Call on overdue bill”. Some things are just private, right?
Once all the cleaning and rearranging is done and the place is pristine enough for Tabatha of Bravo TV’s Salon Takeover to do the finger dust test, you can fire up the griddle, light the candles, fluff the pillows and have a blast. Until next time….