In order for a couple to last there is something that each of them want from each other. Even though each person’s agenda is different when they first meet, the common denominator or the common factor should be, if there is going to be longevity, “I want this person to love me.” In order for a person to love another for who they are, they must get to know each other. This takes time.
Did you ever hear someone say, “I fell in love with them the first time I saw them? Or the first time I heard their voice something came over me and I knew they were the one? Or their fragrance just drew me to them.” One of my favorites, “when I saw them walk across the room I knew they were the one for me.”
Just what was it that you saw in that person? Or what tone of voice were they talking in that made you realize they were the one? And who are you to say, they will always talk in that tone? What about their fragrance, anyone can smell good when they are out on the prey for someone. And lastly, what type of walk makes a person fall madly in love with another?
In reality it could have been something about them that perked up your interest that wanted you to get to know them. But to see them, hear their voice, smell their fragrance or notice their walk, is not how one falls in love.
Nowadays people do not take the time to get to know each other. Since they don’t take the time, a lot of things get missed when they want to go to the next step in the relationship. Love is necessary and love is important in a relationship; so is there anything stronger than love? No, but there is some things that are attached to love that will make love shine like a full moon on a pitch dark night. Some of the things such as trust, commitment, forgiving and honesty, and there are others; but for now this writer will address being honest with each other.
In a relationship if two people are not honest with each other, it puts a pause bottom on their love. Being married now for 38 years I can add a little something to the plate of life that is being served to couples. I always get the question asked how is it that you and your husband stay married in a world where everyone is splitting up and getting a divorce? My response is we are still falling in love with each other.
To be honest I did not fall in love the first time I saw him, I did not like him, but one thing that kept us connected once we became a couple, we talked in detail about everything. We were honest, we put things on the table and we had to learn from each others honesty to stick together regardless of whatever would happen in our lives.
The problem with so many relationships people see things when they are dating that they do not like about each other or something that is not true and they push it under the rug. Their first thought sometimes is, I can change them or we can handle this later. As their relationship progresses, if they have not handled what they did not like or what was not true, like a dust ball it comes from under the rug. Part of loving a person is not changing them to meet your needs but being honest with each other. Always let a person know one is not comfortable with a particular situation and what can we do together to work things out.
In order for a person to love another for who they are, they must get to know each other by taking baby steps. Step one is honesty, the next step is trust. Are you ready to learn how to “walk” in love from a person that is still in love?