When one spouse is a devout Christian, and the other is a nominal Christian or an unbeliever, how should the Christian spouse respond? Everyone dreams of an ideal marriage. We hope to live happily ever after. Many find themselves facing the harsh reality of those dreams not coming true. Examine your heart and look at your marriage. Are you truly committed to making the marriage the best that it can be?
On your wedding day, you made sacred vows to honor, love, cherish and be faithful in sickness and in health. Somewhere along the way, your values conflicted and one or both of you started to build walls. The honeymoon was over; the closeness grown cold.
Your commitment to Christ should not necessarily conflict with your commitment to your marriage. Examine your priorities and determine if your marriage relationship is being given the place of honor it should be. Could it be that you have subconsciously put yourself on a higher plane than your spouse, perhaps looking down on him or her? Subtle attitudes and life choices can send profound messages to your spouse that can build those walls higher. Do you throw yourself into church work because things are strained at home? Next time you consider volunteering for a committee or work day, ask yourself how much quality time you’ve spent with your spouse lately. So many things compete for our time, but don’t let good deeds keep you from nourishing your spousal relationship or working on problem areas. For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? Mark 8:36 You and your spouse are one flesh. When your spouse is hurting, you are hurting. Take time to acknowledge the pain. Ignoring it will not make it go away.
Maybe you’ve been where your spouse is now. Perhaps you were filled with unbelief, anger or complacency. When you are frustrated or angry with your spouse, don’t be so quick to cast the first stone. Be careful not to make yourself unapproachable on spiritual matters. Your spouse might need to talk, but fears being judged by you. Never forget that we are all sinners saved by grace.
Minister to your spouse in your every day routine; in the still, quiet moments, in the chaos of trials, in the light hearted moments of laughter. Withhold not good from them to whom it is due, when it is in the power of thine hand to do it. Proverbs 3:27 If you feel angry with your spouse, do not bring judgment upon him or her by your attitudes or actions. If your attitude is not right, take it to God in prayer. You may be the only Jesus your spouse ever sees. There are many who call themselves Christians, but who will show, by loving example, the true heart of the Father God? Then shall he answer them, saying, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me. Matthew 25:45
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