If this describes your relationship, well, then, there really is no relationship.
We know this all too well but draw up our own ideas as to what an ideal relationship ought to be like. We all know it takes the herculean efforts of two individuals to make any relationship work. It is important that in the early stages of dating both parties involved pull their weight to make it work. And as you delve deeper into the relationship and progress forward to the next phase, it is especially important that you continue to agree on working toward and sustaining a good, solid relationship. It is no one persons responsibility.
When you label your relationship as ‘it’s complicated’ you are simply in denial
Women (and men) have their own ideas as to what is and isn’t acceptable when it comes to their personal relationships. And that is perfectly fine, if that’s what works for you. Although you have to accept that the decisions you made in the beginning of the relationship, while you were dating and getting to know each other, does not come back to bite you in the arse. Although more often than not women behave as enablers. They live in denial and turn the cheek.
All too often many women feel that the more they stand by their man, the better chances they have at keeping that man. Your first mistake was not laying down the law as to what it is you have zero tolerance for, stating what your standards are and what it is you expect from a man. Not a boy, not a guy, but a man. Too many women fail to realize that a man can only get away with as much as you allow him to. It was not until not too long ago that I sided with the woman. Almost always, whether she was a friend, cousin, or even stranger on the train telling me about “what a dog he is!” I was all ears. I immediately wished I could meet ‘that dog!” so I could slap him for her! However, I have had a change in mind.
A man will get away with as much as he can as long as there is a woman available and willing to put up with his mess. So for every man you want to demean, you can also thank the women who allow such behavior in an attempt to keep a man by their side.
It’s like a child with his hand in the cookie jar. Mom becomes an enabler. She looks on in disagreement but let’s him slide, ‘just this one time,’ she’ll say, wagging her tired finger. The next day, same scenario and the child has learned not to take mom serious. The same concept applies to women who continue to act as enablers to men who continue to dog them.
But I love him…
It’s no secret that sexual chemistry can keep you prisoner. It is indeed a powerful weapon that can keep you from moving on and forward to something better. There is much more to a relationship than sex.
And from a man’s perspective
“All I’m telling you to do is to be smart about it. Know that if this man isn’t looking for a serious relationship, you’re not going to change his mind just because you two are going on dates and being intimate. You could be the most perfect woman on the Lord’s green earth-you’re capable of interesting conversation, you cook a mean breakfast, you hand out backrubs like sandwiches, you’re independent (which means, to him, that you’re not going to be in his pockets)-but if he’s not ready for a serious relationship, he going to treat you like sports fish.” ― Steve Harvey, Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment
Women need to have more self-respect and dignity than to subject themslves to such hallow ideas of what a real relationship entails.
When you are in a relationship you should be with someone who brings out the best in you. Someone who you can connect with not just sexually, but also emotionally and intellectually. Someone who will be there in the most trying of times. These are all necessary components to sustaining a happy, healthy relationship.
If you’re in a relationship and it’s complicated, maybe there was once a relationship but it’s evident that it is no more.