With “Gears of War 3” now a week old, gamers are settling in attempting to fire the unwieldy retro lancer accurately and avoiding diggers. The trilogy finale follows suit in the high violence the series boasts, although Conan O’Brien revealed recently it being slightly lighter than previous iterations. Still, the ridiculous executions and random body parts flying are still prevalent but violent and gruesome deaths aren’t reserved for the series and the following are six of the worst ways to die in video gaming.
The worst death isn’t restricted to the main characters nor is it simply how horrible it looks. It can capture any background character that dares step in the way of danger or be a humiliating way to shed one’s mortal coil.
1. Mass Effect 2 – Shadow Broker’s ship
While being a security member on the Shadow Broker’s ship may not be the safest of work places, it’s probably one of the easiest since the state-of-the-art ship is stealthily hovering around Hagalaz, a planet with a constant electrical storm subduing trespassers quickly. Of course Commander Shepard finds a way to intercept the ship and ruin everyone’s work day.
It sucks for a Shadow Broker henchman. First, Shepard and company have killed thousands of others already and use the same tactics to take out said henchmen, you know being blasted via gunshot or launched into the air by biotics against their will. Then the lifted henchman will gracefully fly through the wild winds and promptly be struck by lightning. No, it’s not a slim chance or one in a million type deals: 100% of the time they get struck by lightning. If so unlucky, henchman will whip through the chaotic storm, most likely bashing into the ship’s enormous engines, and finally fall to their deaths to a planet with, oh yeah, a chaotic storm constantly brewing. May death come to them quickly.
2. Mortal Kombat – X-Ray into Fatality
Dying by fatality is bad, but the latest Mortal Kombat adds in another equation into their wicked formula of death. X-Ray attacks are as equally brutal as most fatalities and typically should kill a fighter instantly, but somehow they survive… until they’re “finished” off.
While Sheeva’s X-Ray attack into a Fatality doesn’t look the worst, like Kung Lao’s spinning hat of cutting, it’s both humiliating and painful. She first slams the ground causing the player to land stomach-first, which isn’t bad considering it sounds like you’re about to get a sweet back massage until she steps onto your head, which isn’t as relaxing, crushing the skull. She then proceeds to step on your back, which you’re psyched because here’s the back massage, except she puts all her weight into it and cracks your spine. Then into the fatality, she rips your arms off and starts applauding your own death. Bleeding out is slow, so you watch as you clap for your own death, which doesn’t sound like something you’d do, but the evidence is right in front of you.
3. Gears of War 2 – Double chainsaw
Undoubtedly “Gears of War” falls on this list, considering it has achievements rewarding executions and the blood amount equates to a sea of red far larger than a sell-out Phillies crowd in Citizens Bank Park. What’s worse than being chainsawed in “Gears of War?” Getting double-chainsawed of course. Chainsawing an enemy is rewarding considering if playing online or on a harder difficulty it’s troublesome, and stupid, to run at an enemy during a firefight, plus the funky reaction animation prevents easy chainsawing in close combat. When the roaring, rusty blades actually touch your character’s flesh, it’s a real downer. It gets worse when the creep’s buddy double teams you with his own blade of steel and you’re nothing but bits.
However if you’re the original chainsawer, and someone runs in and chainsaws their way into your kill, it’s worse than being double-chainsawed. Here’s your teammate attempting to steal your glory by using his chainsaw on your victim. Get your own person to chainsaw, moocher!
4. Mirror’s Edge – Falling
In “Mirror’s Edge,” the parkour and freerunning style is exhilarating but like anyone who attempts it in real life, you’re not landing every jump perfectly. Failing a jump in “Mirror’s Edge” means falling really far down. The sensation of cutting air at extreme speeds from high elevation has been experienced before in gaming, like jumping out of planes in “Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas,” but there’s an extra level of mortality to Faith’s missteps and fails in platforming. Games like “Halo: Reach” grant the ability to survive high falls, but Faith is no super soldier so taking the plunge from high distances feels sickeningly realistic, especially the bone-crunching crash at the end. Seeing her arms flailing for the few seconds of time left to contemplate your previous actions from Faith’s perspective is punctuated by a gradually building sound leading to the end. It’s not the goriest or blood-splattered as other deaths, but it’s certainly chilling.
5. Dead Space – Necromorph possession
Most deaths in “Dead Space” revolve around Isaac losing his head. Brutes are the humongous beasts that (do) rip off Isaac’s body into mere pieces. However, it’s not the hulking creatures that deliver the worst death but the tiny tentacle head Necromorphs. Typically not a problem to slap around and deal it death via stomping like any bug, but let this sucker hang out too long, it’ll wrap around Isaac’s head and lead to him losing it. As his head pops off like a cork from a bottle, the lil’ Necromorph has no qualms taking over and implants himself into Isaac’s headless body. Now Isaac is a Necromorph. Or is the Necromorph now Isaac? Wow, this is getting too heady although not so much for Isaac.
6. Resident Evil 5 – Reaper
While “Resident Evil 5” wasn’t particularly scary, except Sheva’s AI (rim shot!), it had an enemy that just made you say, “Ew.” Reapers are essentially giant insects, and like cockroaches annoying to kill. They’re freaky-looking and spew gases creating a shadowy shroud of disgustingness everywhere. If it grabs the player, it’s ending time as it uses its sharp appendage to drive into the character. It’s not the most gruesome death, but those damn bugs are so disturbing looking, it’ll give anyone nightmares and lead to real-life entomophobia, fear of insects.
Be sure to list your own worst video game deaths in the comments section below.