Strong people are self-confident and confidence comes from self-control. Self-control is the ability to control your thoughts and actions. Every action starts with a thought and every thought starts with a feeling. Feelings are something we cannot control. They are a part of who we are. Feelings are what make us unique. We are an original creation, uniquely designed by our Creator.
We have been trained to classify our feelings as either good or bad, but this is wrong. Happy isn’t good and angry isn’t bad. Happy is happy and angry is angry. We must stop classifying our feelings. When we judge our emotions we are blocking the natural process of being able to understand what it is that we’re feeling. If we never allow ourselves to feel and process our emotions, we never learn who we really are. We keep the real version of ourselves locked up. When we classify our emotions we generally push down and bury the ones we think are bad, and we allow ourselves to run wild with the emotions we think are good.
Think of an action that you repeatedly do which is bad. Every action starts with a thought, so determine what your thoughts were leading up to the action. You have to write through it so you can fully understand and process the feeling. There are five core emotions (or feelings) and they are; happy, sad, angry, afraid and ashamed. Bad actions however, are generally a response to the feeling of being afraid. I know this because God mentions fear more than any other emotion or feeling in the Bible, so that is a huge indication that fear is an emotion we must pay close attention too. God is constantly warning us and encouraging us to not be afraid.
Fear, like all emotions, has levels of intensity. As you write to discover your true feelings, here are some words that may be helpful to prompt you in your writing. Low levels of fear are; cautious, nervous, worried, timid, unsure and anxious. Medium levels of fear are; apprehensive, frightened, threatened, insecure, uneasy and intimidated. High levels of fear are; terrified, horrified, scared stiff, petrified, fearful, panicky, frantic and shocked. As you write you’ll probably need to start with the low levels of intensity and write your way thru the medium and once you get to the high level, you’ll discover your real fears.
When you discover and get to the root cause of your true feelings you can embrace your fear and that is a good thing. Until you understand the fears that are driving your behavior, you’ll never be able to change or move forward in life. As I explored the reasons for my bad behavior of overeating, I learned that I was actually terrified that I would never be paid for my writing. I was avoiding writing by choosing to eat instead. Once I unlocked my feelings of “terror,” my writing prompt simply became “I am terrified that.” And I came up with several more things that I’m afraid of.
Every bad behavior that we have is a direct result of our feelings and fears. Armed with the knowledge of your fears, you are now free to make a plan to replace your bad behaviors with good behaviors. For example, when I’m blocked and can’t write, instead of stuffing myself with food, I now take 15 minute breaks and I either exercise, clean or read. If you like this article, please support and encourage me in my writing efforts by subscribing to my page. Have a blessed day!