The Tampa Bay Derby Darlins came into their last bout, featuring the Cigar City Mafia playing against the Switchblade Sisters, with an interesting proposition. The Sisters were 1-1 coming into the bout, Cigar City 2-0, and Tampa’s final team, the Black Widows, 2-1. Meaning, if the Sisters won, there’d be a three-way tie going into the Championship game. A situation who’s solution just boggles the mind. (Don’t stress out too much pondering it, as I’ve taken the trouble to draft out possible scenarios here.) Luckily for the Derby Darlins’ league of engineers and logisticians, the Cigar City Mafia did win, 154-71, thereby eliminating the Switchblade Sisters from the running, and locking in a place against the Black Widows at this year’s ‘Stache Bash II.
Defeat aside, the Switchblade Sisters started the bout off strong. Building a lead early on with quick, no-fuss jams. Four points from Flirtin W. Disaster (0-4) here, four more from Rock C there (4-8). The Sisters’ defense: Sassy Ash, Sketch E. Artist, and (team Captain) Bash ’em Up Barbie doing an admirable job of holding the CIgar City Mafia back (10-18).
That said, the Sisters’ biggest boost came from the aforementioned returning Rock C; who reminded everyone of what makes her so dangerous. Capable of falling down from a shot, and then getting back on her skates, taking “lead” in the time it would take other skaters to hit the ground (13-21).
This worked well until the Mafia sent Sasha Haughtbich out to jam. Sasha wasted no time in cutting through the inside of the pack for a quick lead. A quick lead that seamlessly transitioned to a slow jam as the Sisters’ jammer fouled out; allowing the Mafia to immediately slow the pack down (36-25). More slow jams would immediately follow, this time netting the Mafia’s Reeces Tear Ya to Pieces nine points (45-25).
The Sisters ended the half with strong Rock C (51-33) and Flirtin W. Disaster (51-38) jams; allowing them to leave the track with their composer intact. Followed by what would be their last spot of hope: Flirtin opening up the second half with a quick start, scoring, and then calling it (58-43).
Cigar City answered with a Lunch Lady powerjam that effectively negated the Sisters’ gains (78-43). Here, though, it was the Mafia’s defense that shined brightest. Sasha Haughtbich and Punkin doing a great job at continually knocking Sassy Ash out of bounds every time she tried to pass on the outside. Not only preventing the Sisters from gaining any ground, but also often forcing a cut (96-48).
One Leia Flat powerjam later, and the Sisters were truly done. Flat, a blocker who moonlights as a vicious jammer, didn’t have the lead, and so was locked in for a damaging two minutes when the Sisters’ jammer fouled out (126-52).
The Sisters would have one last comeback attempt, but there wouldn’t be enough time, nor enough opportunities, left to turn the tide. Kiyy Danger (144-56) and Flirtin each scoring with some fast jams, while Sisters blockers Sketch E. Artist, Missie the Missile, Bash ’em Up Barbie, and Pink Mamba held the Mafia scoreless (144-59). A few more strong Flirtin jams would end the bout: 154-71; with a Mafia win.
The bout’s MVPs were Rock C (jammer) and Alli-Kat Scratch (blocker) for the Switchblade Sisters, while Sasha Haughtbich (jammer) and Lunch Lady (blocker) took home the honors for the Cigar City Mafia.