Where are the jobs, Mr. Boehner? Where is Herb Cain? And our guy, Keith Olbermann, where is your tie? I do not have the answers to any of those questions. But to get us in the mood to ponder such a puzzle, let us consider some famous quotes about those strange stranglers that dangle from the necks of the rich and famous.
“If men can run the world, why can’t they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?” –Linda Ellerbee
“I’ve found that you don’t need to wear a necktie if you can hit.” –Ted Williams
“I’ve got ties older than people in that audience.” –Tony Danza
“I like ties but I prefer not to wear one when I’m nervous.” –Jamie Oliver
“To be with others, you have to have your hair short and wear ties. So we’re trying to make a third world happen, you know what I mean?” –Jimi Hendrix
“To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off.” –Robert Moog
“It’s toppers and tails for Ascot. Boaters and bow ties for Henley. And anything goes for Wimbledon.” –David Winder
“I have a hankering to go back to the Orient and discard my necktie. Neckties strangle clear thinking.” –Lin Yutang
“An old suit, a battered hat, a perfect tie, and a good collar, that’s what makes a well dressed man.” –Baron de Meyer
“Neckties satisfy modern man’s desire to dress in art.” –Harry Anderson
“With an evening coat and a white tie, anybody, even a stock broker, can gain a reputation for being civilized.” –Oscar Wilde
“Your socks should match your tie.” –David G. Hartwell
(I seem to have lost the one where Rodney Dangerfield told his dentist that his teeth were getting yellow, and the dentist told Rodney to wear a brown tie!)
After listening to many opinions on twitter, it seems that most women want to see Keith in a tie. @Shoebedobedo points out that she is used to seeing that professional look. And @KathrynJScags made Keith LOL when she tweeted, “I just couldn’t believe a single word he said.” So, we find ourselves wondering if clothes make the man. And then comes this answer: “Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.” –Mark Twain
I disagree. I think he should be comfy, whatever that is for him. So why did the Current anchor’s tie die last night? We offer several possible answers. Do keep in mind that this is pure conjecture:
1. Al Gore insisted that it was way too hot for ties anymore.
2. The Yankees made all season ticket holders buy a cap and matching tie and wear them until 8 pm Eastern yesterday. (He hardly had time to get them off!)
3. Keith was dressing up early for Halloween. He is going as Andrew Breitbard.
4. Having recently tweeted a photo of himself having a salad during the Red Sox game, Keith got fed up with the rabbit food and ate his purple tie.
5. He joined Matt Taibbi over at Occupy Wall Street and the cops ran out of plastic cuffs. They used his tie to restrain him. (No marks!)
6. Neighboring governor Chris Christie called and wanted to borrow a belt to get the people back on the beach. You guessed it. The belt was made of Keith’s old ties.
7. Mr. Olbermann finally pitched that broken tie that Craig Ferguson tried to fix for him.
8. Jeanane Garofalo made a matching tie of beads and string to go with the bracelet she recently gave Keith. It came unstrung as he was trying to tie it.
9. KO heard a rumor that Sarah Palin had entered the Republican ring, and he tried to hurt himself with his red tie. (It had to be taken away from him.)
10. Keith has finally decided to identify more with all the poor folks who watch him every single night. They are in their underwear.
We are used to seeing Keith tone it down and loosen his tie for Fridays with Thurber. (Maybe Thurber called and wanted his tie back!) We have even seen him wear some very interesting jerseys and sports shirts at the FOK Network. But this thing last night, this thing is a mystery. And we are all hoping that he might explain what is going on tonight.
Though Colbert had no pants on when he interviewed Keith, we shall see what article of clothing might go next! Like Shoe said, he is now the boss, and if he doesn’t want to wear a tie, he doesn’t have to. I am sure it is not lack that has made him appear sans tie. I am sure he has some nice ones. I guess he can do what he damn well pleases! (But please, Keith, tell us why.)