Listening to 102.5 FM radio Atlanta recently, callers were asked the question “Will you marry you or someone like you?” It was interesting to hear the responses. Remarkably people cannot honestly admit that they are not perfect, yet look for a mate without faults.
One of the first things that most people think about when preparing for or thinking about marriage, are the characteristics or qualities of the person they would like to marry. Some people think about how they want their potential husband or wife to look – perhaps they think about such things as hair and skin color. Some men may look for a wife who is an excellent cook, and some women may look for a husband who is very religious.
Nonetheless, most people seem to go to great lengths to make elaborate lists, either on paper or in their minds, about all the things they want or expect from their potential husband or wife. And while this is good and perhaps a very necessary part of the marriage search, few people ever sit down, and with the same purposefulness and care, enumerate their own qualities and characteristics or think about whether they, themselves, are the kind of people that someone else with just as high expectations or ideals would want to marry.
Think outside of yourself for a moment: If you were someone else, would you marry you? I don’t mean you, as you would like to see yourself weeks, months or even years from now. Nor do I mean you as you imagine yourself after you have had a chance to change a few of your bad habits, improve your character, fix yourself up or you after you begin to practice your religion more seriously. I mean you, as you are TODAY.
If some people were to be completely honest with them selves, they would have to admit that they, themselves, do not possess the kind of qualities or characteristics they would want in a husband or wife.
People are rushing to get married while they still possess characteristics of selfishness, stubbornness, inflexibility, insensitivity, and ingratitude. They are overly critical of other people while at the same time they have difficulty accepting criticism of themselves.
Someone who is in denial about their faults will never be able to change their negative pattern of behavior until they first recognize and ADMIT that they have a problem. Once you can admit that you have a problem, the next step is to begin working diligently and consistently on your problem or negative characteristics.
If after taking a good long, honest look at yourself in the mirror you cannot honestly say that you would make a good husband or wife in your present condition, then before you pick up the pen to enumerate a list of all the fine qualities you are looking for in a wife or husband, instead, why not list some of the qualities that you need to work on, and then embark on a program to change these bad qualities so that someday when you are blessed with a good wife or husband you will be worthy of such a person?
What do you think? Post your comments or email me at [email protected]